OK, technically it's MOVING time, but it feels about the same...
I really thought that I was the only one that would care, but that's what happens when you spend so much time in your head that you forget how interconnected all our lives are. I went out with Ben, Marlena, and Laura the other night for drinks and tattoos, more on that later, and we were talking about how I'm moving the largest of my stores next week into a new location. I don't mention the name of the stores here, because I'd rather it not turn up in web searches. At that point, I'd have to edit myself a lot more than I do now, since this is pretty anonymous.
Ben pointed out that closing that store would really affect a bunch of us, as our lives have grown in and around that store. To put this in a little perspective, the store has been there for about 16 years, almost as long as I've worked at the company. In that time, hundreds of other people have worked there, and it's been a really big deal to many of us. Ben met his lovely wife Marlena there when she came in to pick up an application and later came to work with us. I've made best friends, got an extended family and some wonderful nieces and nephews, and lost some of those same friends, all in and around the store. I've grown as a person, I like to think, and have watched so many others do the same. So I think it's fair that we're a little sentimental about it, no matter how necessary the move is or how much better the new store will look when I'm finished.
Ben and I thought it would be fun for us to each do a Top 10 Memories list, recounting the things that made our time there special. So we're off!
10. Pranks with Sam!One of our favorite customers was always Sam Jackson. Sam and his family shopped with us for years, and we tormented each other the entire time. Sam was one of a group that would come in every Wednesday for new comics, then wait around till the staff finished up so we could all go to dinner together. This tradition went on for years, and is one of the things I miss most about working in the stores. Sam is party to 2 of my favorite memories, so I'll lump them together here.
First up is something that's a little embarrassing for ME, just to get it out of the way. We had these acrylic cases that sat on the counters to hold packs of trading cards. One day, I was talking to Sam and fidgeting around with the card holder. At one point, my hand slipped, and I dropped the case closed on the fingers of BOTH hands, So I was unable to reach the lid to open it back up. I didn't want anyone to see, so I kept talking to Sam as if nothing were wrong. Apparently, I was sweating bullets and turning red, but Sam just kept on talking. After a while, he finally asked "Would you like me to open that for you?" and freed me. He never let me forget it either. Luckily, Sam eventually got his...
Sam loved to torment one of our employees, Cary A. Cary was good-natured about it, but Sam was always giving him shit about one thing or another. One night, Sam was talking to me about something and ended up making a crack to Cary to the tune of "That's what I told your momma." or something. Cary said "My mom recently died", dropped the broom he was carrying and went straight to the back and closed the office door. Sam felt AWFUL and kept apologizing and trying to make it right. It wasn't until later that Sam and I both found out that Cary's mom was alive and well!
9. Murray SpiceMy friend Maria didn't work with us all that long, in the grand scheme of things, but she was definitely memorable! She came to us a very shy, introverted high school student that just wanted a job to pay some bills. Given her penchant for mumbling on the phone, we started calling her "Murray" because that's what it sounded like she was saying. I knew that the constant dig would help her remember to enunciate, and it actually worked. Unfortunately, she still wasn't cut out for retail, so she moved on to the office. She gave rise to the store songs "How do you solve a problem like Maria? Pink Slip!" and "Murray Spice, Murray Spice. She Likes Tacos and Red Beans and Rice" for which I have no excuse...
8. Magic Cards of DoomAfter close, we occasionally acted up to blow off a little steam. Something that happened WAY too often was throwing Magic cards like tiny throwing stars. By the end of the evening, they'd be stuck in the ceiling at odd angles, behind books, on the floor, you name it. The best part was leaving it till the next morning to be cleaned up...
7. Ben and MarlenaI mentioned my friends Ben and Marlena. Ben had been with us a while, managing the store off and on, quitting twice, but generally being pretty awesome. One day, a cute girl came in for an application, and caught his eye. We hired her, but that was when he found out about Dave the boyfriend. Lucky for all of us, Dave was a douchebag so he was out of the picture fairly soon. Ben and I arranged a viewing of the movie "Bats" (yes, the one with Lou Diamond Phillips) with a bunch of employees, and Marlena was there.
After the movie, Ben and I stopped for gas and Marlena was also there. They got all chatty, and I could see something was up. They eventually started dating, and then Ben held a huge blowout New Year's party to ring in the year 2000. We did what we usually did in those days, and opened a bottle of champagne for each time zone. By the time it was midnight in New York, Marlena was throwing up in Ben's kitchen sink. I looked up and he was standing there, patiently holding her hair back. In that moment, I could see with absolute clarity they'd be married and having beautiful children one day. That day was just this past February, when we welcomed their first son, Griffin, into the world!
6. The Vampire Prince of CleburneThis one's a bit icky, FYI. We had a customer that was into the Live Action Roleplaying scene, and was officially "The Vampire Prince of Cleburne, TX". He wasn't very sociable, and not particularly well-groomed. One day, my friend Kevin Donnini was working in the store with me. Kevin went to the back to use the restroom, and the Vampire Prince walked out as he approached the door.
I don't know what was going on in the VP's digestive tract, but he had apparently fouled the bathroom horribly. Upon opening the door and taking a single step inside, Kevin vomited ALL OVER the restroom sink and floor. It was the kind of visceral reaction I'd never seen before or since, thank goodness. He came up front to tell me what had happened, and I could only think to ask if he'd mopped the bathroom yet!
5. Mr. T and the T-ForceIn 1993 or so, Mr. T toured the country to promote the comic "Mr. T and the T-Force", and our shiny new store was one of the stops. I'll never forget working that day, as we had to prepare things to meet Mr. T's rider's requirements, handle the crowds, etc. The comic was AWFUL, but Mr. T was a huge draw and something most of us will never forget.
He rode up in a long, white limousine - standing up sticking out of the sun roof! My favorite moment, though, came when he was sitting at the table. Part of his rider was that we have Evian water on hand for him to drink. He showed up wearing an entire set of gold flatware around his neck, and with a big gold goblet to drink from. A small boy wandered up at one point, and reached towards the goblet. Mr. T looked over and loudly said "Ain't nobody touches Mr. T's goblet!" and I would wager that the little boy immediately soiled himself. Ah, the glory days...
4. Click, Click... Boom!For a while, we sub-let part of our back room to some innovative guys that ran a pay-by-the-hour video gaming network. This was one of the first I'd heard of, and they had the first Command & Conquer, and Duke Nukem 3D. Part of the deal was that the employees were allowed to play after hours, so a bunch of us would hang around and play until WAY too late in the evening, and one of the guys, Brian, would wander around during store hours imitating the sound of a Duke Nukem grenade being tossed. "Click, Click... Boom!", he would say. haha. Several times, we'd still be playing when the sun came up, making for a REALLY long day the next day...
3. LumpyMy friend Lori worked in our Hurst store, then transferred to the Arlington store where I worked. We had a great time working there, as this was about the same time we had the "perfect storm" of employees. Pat, Ben, Kevin, Lori, and I all worked there around then and we were the BEST. We could sell anything to anyone, and had that store looking better than its ever looked since. One night, at closing, Lori wandered past and I asked her a question. Her mind was wandering, so she didn't hear me. I had an empty bank bag in my hand, so I swatted her on the butt with it. The only problem? It wasn't empty...
Inside the bag was a roll of quarters that I forgot was in there. If you've ever seen someone get shot in the movies, this was pretty much the same thing. She dropped like a sack of potatoes, and writhed around on the floor like she was dying. I felt HORRIBLE, but not so horrible that I didn't coin her new nickname when she came to work the next day and told me about the awful, lumpy bruise she had. "Lumpy" was born, and is still with us to this day.
2. Thank You, Surveillance Tapes!Pat Bussey and Kevin Donnini worked for us at the same time, and were the biggest cut-ups we ever had. It was always hard work to keep them on task, but customers loved them and they were worth the extra effort. We had just installed a new surveillance system, and I was counting down the drawers up front after closing.
Kevin was standing a few feet in front of me, and we were talking while he rolled up the day's journal (man, I don't miss those!). From out of nowhere, I see a streak of red as Pat runs past me from the back half of the store and kicks Kevin square in the nuts. In a fluid motion, he turned to make a hasty retreat, only to be caught up in Kevin's chain wallet. He fell to the ground, and got the tar beat out of him. Best of all, it all happened right in front of a camera! This was before the internet was a big deal and long before anyone had even thought of Youtube, but it would have been so much fun to post there. I watched that tape for YEARS until it finally wore out...
1. The LeaderThis one's a little fuzzy, as it is the tiniest little incident you can imagine that just grew into something much larger. It was SO tiny, it didn't seem consequential at the time and I may have mixed up a couple of things. This is how I remember it, though.
We have a group of guys that I've met at J. Gilligan's every Saturday for lunch for about 10 years. They are a gaming group that play D&D and other games, getting together one night a week. They also happen to be great guys, so I have always enjoyed my time with them. One of them, Matt, mentioned to me that some of the stuff he'd just bought was for his younger brother Brad's birthday. Somehow, I don't remember how, I knew that Brad played golf, so I gave him a set of golf balls with Marvel characters on them to take along.
He loved the gift, especially the golf ball with The Leader on it. On their next trip to town, he came to a Gilligan's block party with us and got on with everyone very well. He moved here a short time later, after finishing school at Texas Tech, and was the best friend I've ever had or ever will have. He's the only person I've ever lived with, the first person I went on a road trip with, and my partner in crime.
Because of that tiny golf ball, I ended up being part of a family that I can't imagine living without. Besides Brad and Matt, there's Matt's wife René and their 2 wonderful daughters that sometimes call me Unkie CP, Matt's dad Ron, Brad's fiancée Erin, and even Matt and Brad's mom Edna and her mom Florence. Through them, I also met my friends Ryan and (now) his wife Michelle, Matt and Mandy, BT (who pets the pickle...), and so many others.
That golf ball is everything the store has meant to me, distilled into one tiny event. The store is, for many of us, a place where wildly different paths converged for one reason or another. Of course they diverge again later, but that's what life is all about. There is no single place in the world that means as much to me as that store, and I'll forever be grateful for the lessons I learned there, both good and bad, the friends I made there, and even the friends I lost there. If you'd asked me how I felt about the store a month or two ago, I'd have said it was no big deal. With each day that passes and each thing that gets packed or planned or thrown out, it's all becoming more real. After everyone else leaves next Saturday, the store is going to feel very, very empty...
Here are a few bonus anecdotes that didn't make the cut, some of them won't make sense to anyone but me, but I may be the only one reading this anyhow!
Taking a fixture apart and hitting myself in the mouth with it. I locked myself in the office for hours, because a bunch of people in the store laughed at me.
"It's red all over!"
Passing out on the shipping and receiving table after too many Red-ass Charlies from Kourtney. Got the bathroom cleaned up and out of the office 10 minutes before other staff showed up to work...
Throwing ham at Maria and Dave.
Dave Jesus having sex on my desk and not telling anyone until later. We all ate lunch on that desk!
Found out a friend had been stealing the whole time he worked for me. Not all memories are good ones...
Took Benadryl for the first time, fell asleep WHILE RINGING SOMEONE UP, discovered I can't take Benadryl at all.
Thinking Maria might be "the one".
Finding out Maria's gay as a tree full of monkeys.
Getting my name in the liner notes of a Christian death metal band's first CD. It only cost me a lot of money and a friend.
Had to move my apartment into the back room for a week because my new apartment wasn't ready in time.
Watched "The Forbidden Zone" for the first time at Josh and Christy's house.
So many others, I'll just stop there. A few of us are getting together on Saturday night, after the store closes for the last time in its current location. We'll have some drinks, and we'll choose something to make the trek from the old store to the new. We're going to hide it somewhere in the store where it will stay for however long the store is there, we just want to feel like some of the old location's spirit lives on in the new one. It won't be the same, but that's life I guess.
